There is a big reality that most parents need to realize if they’re going to ever help their children with tech addiction and the horrible existence that comes along with it, and that is that kids don’t want this. It seems odd to say that considering how hard they fight for their tech and how addicted they are to their tech, but they really don’t want this. I personally felt a great failing as a parent when the reality hit me, and some people reading this may as well, but the reality is we can make a change immediately. First, let’s get on the same page with whether or not kids want this situation and relationship with tech.
When speaking with any adult in charge of kids, the adult always reports that when forced to take away cell phones or tech, kids eventually report how amazing and great it was. They start speaking with different people. They look each other in the eyes. They engage in a human to human way. When you give them back their phones, they get sucked right back into them even though they self-reported that life was better or more interesting or at least tolerable without the phones. There’s clear neurological science behind this, but just consider something really basic: the TV.
My kids watch movies and TV shows on a somewhat regular basis. Yes, we monitor closely what they’re watching. They don’t get to use the smart TV to go onto youtube and watch anything. We have specific shows and we screen movies closely, but it wasn’t always like this. They didn’t always watch TV. I remember the first time we let my oldest son sit down and watch a movie. He was a super energetic and happy baby and toddler, and we weren’t big couch ready TV goers ourselves, so he didn’t get to watch a full movie until he was around three years old. When he first set eyes on the moving screen, he froze. I can vividly remember watching him lock onto the screen and stop moving. Most parents I’ve spoken with have had this exact experience at one point or another. I can tell you for sure that he had no idea what was happening on the screen. He didn’t like the content. It wasn’t a show he wanted to finish. He literally just saw it and something in his brain told him to stop everything and watch. What kids are going through now is way worse.
The stimulation on the limbic system produced by current tech is exponentially greater than a B- movie or commercial on a TV screen. The research on this is painfully clear. Social media and video games, both console and apps, tap into the deepest parts of our brains and bring out the most hijacked, monkey version of ourselves, which leads kids to get pulled into a tractor beam and be able to break away on their own. (Condie research). (Flappy Bird Example).
Kids get sucked in, but when they are physically removed from their tech and they sober up, they overwhelmingly admit life is better.
